Typing in a Thunderstorm

It is a mellow evening here, there is a thunderstorm filling the background. It's providing a gorgeous light show and some nifty sound effects. I have some ambient techno, courtesy of i tunes radio. Oddly enough the pooch isn't fazed in the least by the thunder and lightening.

So there are a couple significant things about this weekend. First off I am racing again. I think that is clear. I've blogged about the Baldwin Park race. It's on Sunday should any of you lurkers wish to cheer the ole LC on.

I must admit to feeling overly melancholy this evening. The race Sunday, my birthday on Monday. I suppose thats as good of a reason as any for introspection. Which is how I feel as I sit out on my back porch in the thunderstorm. So many memories on this porch, some even involve thunderstorms. I guess its inevitable that every year we add to the total one gets a little more introspective. The questions bubble to the surface. Am i as successful as I thought I would be? Am I establishing a legacy? How am I impacting the world? Have I prepared enough for my future? How did I end up alone for another birthday? Will I race strong on Sunday? Should I really be having a Makers and Coke and eating pizza before my swim workout tomorrow? and to many other thoughts to get all down. But BIG or small the questions are all there. I suppose the beauty of time is that she sorts it all out...eventually.

Well as I have been slacking on the Purpose Driven Life as well, here is today's question:
How can I stay focused on God's presence, especially when he feels distant? That's sort of the true definition of faith, isn't it? What kind of leap would it take if anytime you were feeling low or questioned God there was a gentle tap on the shoulder with God going "hey I'm right here" and you could see he was standing there 24/7. Sometimes you feel so good that you know there is someone beside you, supporting you it is such a positive vibe it can only be described as divine. But one of my favorite stories involves the times you think God is gone. I don't know who wrote or I would give them their credit.

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with god.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him and the other to god.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned god about it.

"God, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."

God replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."

In those dark times when I find myself truly alone, I think of that poem. I think maybe i'm not walking maybe i'm being carried....

LC

Lucky # 13

First off, Congrats to my coach, Hector. He is currently running a marathon in Idaho. Did I mention he first swam 2.4 miles, in 1:13:49. He then biked 112 miles, in 6:49:28, thats an average of 16.41 mph, for almost 7 hrs. He wins the Kick @$$ award today.


Me, I pushed it pretty good yesterday. 33mile bike and a 5 mile run. Today I am resting and cleaning and organizing. It must be the Cancerian in me. Apparently people who fall under the sign of the Crab can be pretty big homebodies at times. Which is me this weekend, especially after the evil sinuses I had.

Why is it Lucky 13? Well I am on day 13 of my purpose driven life journey. That and I have always found thirteen to be an alright number. Today's Question: Which is more pleasing to God right now- my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?

I am very excited by this question. I have long had issues with "organized religion." The things I saw and was led to understand as both a Catholic and an observer of religion, left me with many questions to the validity of God's so called "flock." Instead, I often believed that it was more important to worship God in nature than in the brick and mortar of his churches. I have often said, "Why worship God inside a house we built for him, when I can step outside my door and worship him in the house he built for me." For the most part I still find this to be true. In the book, I suppose I fall into the naturalist form of worship. However, as I have been following First Baptist of Orlando, I am impressed with the level of leadership and the direction the church attempts to lead their parishioners in. It leads me to believe that there may be value once again in walking into a house man built for God. As for which is more pleasing to God? I believe it is my private worship outside the walls of the church. But I also think, I am being nudged to start becoming more active within the church community.

RACE COUNTDOWN: 7 days!