Typing in a Thunderstorm

It is a mellow evening here, there is a thunderstorm filling the background. It's providing a gorgeous light show and some nifty sound effects. I have some ambient techno, courtesy of i tunes radio. Oddly enough the pooch isn't fazed in the least by the thunder and lightening.

So there are a couple significant things about this weekend. First off I am racing again. I think that is clear. I've blogged about the Baldwin Park race. It's on Sunday should any of you lurkers wish to cheer the ole LC on.

I must admit to feeling overly melancholy this evening. The race Sunday, my birthday on Monday. I suppose thats as good of a reason as any for introspection. Which is how I feel as I sit out on my back porch in the thunderstorm. So many memories on this porch, some even involve thunderstorms. I guess its inevitable that every year we add to the total one gets a little more introspective. The questions bubble to the surface. Am i as successful as I thought I would be? Am I establishing a legacy? How am I impacting the world? Have I prepared enough for my future? How did I end up alone for another birthday? Will I race strong on Sunday? Should I really be having a Makers and Coke and eating pizza before my swim workout tomorrow? and to many other thoughts to get all down. But BIG or small the questions are all there. I suppose the beauty of time is that she sorts it all out...eventually.

Well as I have been slacking on the Purpose Driven Life as well, here is today's question:
How can I stay focused on God's presence, especially when he feels distant? That's sort of the true definition of faith, isn't it? What kind of leap would it take if anytime you were feeling low or questioned God there was a gentle tap on the shoulder with God going "hey I'm right here" and you could see he was standing there 24/7. Sometimes you feel so good that you know there is someone beside you, supporting you it is such a positive vibe it can only be described as divine. But one of my favorite stories involves the times you think God is gone. I don't know who wrote or I would give them their credit.

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with god.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him and the other to god.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned god about it.

"God, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."

God replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."

In those dark times when I find myself truly alone, I think of that poem. I think maybe i'm not walking maybe i'm being carried....

LC

Lucky # 13

First off, Congrats to my coach, Hector. He is currently running a marathon in Idaho. Did I mention he first swam 2.4 miles, in 1:13:49. He then biked 112 miles, in 6:49:28, thats an average of 16.41 mph, for almost 7 hrs. He wins the Kick @$$ award today.


Me, I pushed it pretty good yesterday. 33mile bike and a 5 mile run. Today I am resting and cleaning and organizing. It must be the Cancerian in me. Apparently people who fall under the sign of the Crab can be pretty big homebodies at times. Which is me this weekend, especially after the evil sinuses I had.

Why is it Lucky 13? Well I am on day 13 of my purpose driven life journey. That and I have always found thirteen to be an alright number. Today's Question: Which is more pleasing to God right now- my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?

I am very excited by this question. I have long had issues with "organized religion." The things I saw and was led to understand as both a Catholic and an observer of religion, left me with many questions to the validity of God's so called "flock." Instead, I often believed that it was more important to worship God in nature than in the brick and mortar of his churches. I have often said, "Why worship God inside a house we built for him, when I can step outside my door and worship him in the house he built for me." For the most part I still find this to be true. In the book, I suppose I fall into the naturalist form of worship. However, as I have been following First Baptist of Orlando, I am impressed with the level of leadership and the direction the church attempts to lead their parishioners in. It leads me to believe that there may be value once again in walking into a house man built for God. As for which is more pleasing to God? I believe it is my private worship outside the walls of the church. But I also think, I am being nudged to start becoming more active within the church community.

RACE COUNTDOWN: 7 days!

Mysterious Ways, the 10lb bag and what should have been Day 12

On mysterious ways, I guess the craziest thing about faith is in believing their really is a master plan. It's sort of like a roller coaster...(that's the screaming eagle, by the way) your 99.9 % sure all the safety measures are in place and that while its a thrilling and maybe scary ride your going to get out of the car in 57 seconds and the world will be good. However, that 0.01% that's niggling in the back of your brain what if the safety checks weren't done will I be the one too go flying off this thing? So to is faith. Just sit back put the lap bar down and enjoy the ride.

I have been neglecting the Losing Clyde saga quite a bit, I am still working towards the goal. But, the last few days I have been saddled with a vicious sinus infection, head cold or whatever nameless ailment has decided to simulate a gorilla sitting on my head and intermittently plugging a running my nose like a faucet. Anyhoo, with my time today as I stayed home and slept off most of the day, I took a little time to create the10lb bag. No not a bag that weighs 10lbs, but a bag for all those clothes to try on once I've dropped another 10 lbs. So with todays weigh in that will be at about 212 lbs. It was motivating to see that I am close to fitting into some of my old favorite clothes.

Day 12-ish: What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?
The choice I make to day is to LISTEN. This flows into something I heard recently about how God is talking to us, but we can't always hear him. Cell phones, car horns, I pods, etc ad infinitum. I choose to slow down and listen to the voice inside of me, to nurture and make it strong enough to hear over the clamor of everyday life.

Day Eleven-ish

So I saw Kung Fu Panda the other day. Good Flick, especially if you like the old Kung Fu films. and the amount of celebrity voices is crazy: Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogen, Lucy Liu, Michael Clarke Duncan to name a few. Any way it gets a 3 out of 5 from me.





And Thanks to a Lurker in our midst, we now know the book I was talking about was by AJ Jacobs.


The Year of Living Biblically is about my quest to live the ultimate biblical life. To follow every single rule in the Bible – as literally as possible. I obey the famous ones:

• The Ten Commandments
• Love thy neighbor
• Be fruitful and multiply

But also, the hundreds of oft-ignored ones.

• Do not wear clothes of mixed fibers.
• Do not shave your beard
• Stone adulterers

I may just have to go out and pick this one up.


My own Day Eleven, What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to him more often throughout the day? Since I began this journey, not eleven days ago but several months ago when I started listening to some of the sermons by Pastor David Uth. I found that I began to confide in God more. The process had already began, it is what lead me to take the next steps to becoming closer to him and further examine our relationship. It is nice to think or to know that he wants a relationship with me. One of my biggest hang ups was always that God demanded subservience. In the final book of the left behind series. The glorious appearing is described, or at least my understanding of the description was the Jesus appeared and the believers lost all self will and became what appeared to be automatons for Jesus. I had a real issue with this, however focus on understanding God's will and developing a relationship with him, thats something I can understand and embrace. I am going to start wearing an old bracelet that looks like worn wood for awhile to remind me to tlak more to him throughout the day.

On the LC front, I am getting a sinus infection or head cold or something. It kind blows as i have a race around the corner. The raging internal debate....To sleep or to train...I guess I wont know until 4:30 tomorrow morning.

Chapter 10

Well I suppose I am officially going to take more than 40 days to read this book...It seems life gets away fro me at times. But tonight I read through chapter 10 and the burning question is: What are of my life am I holding back from God? Praise, often times I forget or at the very least I am inconsistent with thanking God for all the great things in my life, the gifts I possesses and the blessings of family and friends that I have experienced. I sometimes get to focused on what is not in my life, as opposed to recognizing all the great hings that are and then thanking God for them. It doesn't just end there. There was a guy who wrote a book and of course I have no recollection of his name. He was a Jew and his goal was to live for a year following all the laws of the bible. Some were obviously more difficult than others, but his story pertains here because one element of it was that he praise God in all things. So he began to thank God for everything, getting a taxi promptly, getting the green light at an intersection, the elevator delivering him to his floor, etc etc. The interesting thing is that by putting such a renewed focus on praise he felt his relationship with God grow and it put things into a larger perspective for him.